New Year's Day, Kaylee broke a string on her violin. It was only Mike, David and Kaylee home when it happened, I would have been all over it instantly had I been there. What made me really upset, was that she didn't tell me about it. Instead, when we got home that same evening, she proceeded to "investigate" her sisters' violins, "Let's see who's violin is in tune!" So, her sisters gathered around...Kaylee let Kassi open up the violin with the broken string, which, then Kassi proclaims, "Mom!! A string is broken!!" I scold her for plucking the strings (she is notorious for doing this in an attempt to tune her violin)...which she replies, "But mom! I didn't do it!!" (I hate this excuse!!) I then yell for everyone to put the violins away and get upstairs for bed!!
A few minutes later, as I'm looking at the broken string, Michael informs me that it most likely was Kaylee. When they were home that afternoon, he heard Kaylee playing her violin, she asks him to help her tune it, he says he didn't know how...she's plucking away, and then he heard a "POP"...he thinks it's just the bridge popping off, he tells Kaylee to put the violin away....
So, I gather my thoughts and calmly call Kaylee down to ask her what happened...conveniently she has no recollection of anything happening. No amount of threatening or yelling brought about a confession. Just total denial that she wasn't responsible. I wrapped up our discussion with, "Please let me know right away if something happens to your violin. Do not let your sisters take the blame for something you did or didn't do!"
Then tonight, Kaylee & Kiera are reading with Kassi. They both sign her homework slip and proceed with getting ready for bed. Kiera comes in crying, "Kaylee says she hates me and wrote it on her leg."
We call Kaylee in ask her what happened, "I don't know what happened. We were just sitting there and I was just talking and then she started crying." We ask her what she was writing on her leg, "Nothing! I wasn't writing anything!" (But you can see she'd written something.) We ask what she thinks she said to make Kiera cry, "I didn't say anything! I didn't say 'I hate Kiera!" Again, all the threats of life and liberty brought nothing. She claims she can't remember what she did write on her leg or even what she'd been talking about. I did get her to finally apologize to Kiera...because whatever was said, Kiera thought it was "I hate Kiera"...
My gut tells me she knows she did wrong, but won't admit it. I can see it in her face, hear it in her voice...what am I going to do next time?
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4 comments:
Threaten to leave her home during the cruise. :P
I'm sure Tim will have something more insightful when we get home from work...
I have no experience to draw from. You are a great parent and we look to you for advice. But if I were you I would set her up. Set up a camera and catch her in the act and address any recent issues. Nothing is worse then being accused of something you didn't do though ..so make sure your evidence is solid. :)
Hmmm, Tim's idea isn't bad. Lying is such a tricky one. I don't really know what to do, but I say trust your gut. If you know she's lying and she keeps getting away with it she's going to keep doing it. You could calmly talk to her in a moment when there isn't a particular lie going on and tell her that you've been thinking a lot lately about the other two instances. Tell her that you were sent to earth to be her mother and as such Heavenly Father has given you certain feelings to help you be a good mom. Explain to her that your instincts/gut/feelings make you feel like she hasn't been honest with you or with her sisters. Remind her of her baptismal covenants and tell her that you want to help her keep those covenants and make good choices. Tell her you know she is a good girl and that even good girls make mistakes or make bad choices, but the important part is what we do afterward. Being honest about our mistakes and making them right is what really counts. You might ask her again about those two lying times: the violin string and making Kiera sad. Encourage her to tell the truth and assure her that even though there are consequences, you will still love her. She may still resist, but then I think you've done all you can do as a mother. I had to have a long talk with Dallin about trust and about how when people can't trust you then you really miss out on a lot. I think we talked about that...right? Anyway....long post...maybe it can help!
Or threaten to leave her home from the cruise! :)
when did your girls start playing the violin? are they all playing together? how fun!! brian and i used to play duets together all the time... we watched a couple recordings just a few years ago and i can't believe we were actually in tune.
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